• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content

The Hayes Law Firm

Estate and Elder Law Information Center

  • (626) 403-2292
  • Attend a Free Webinar
  • Home
  • Our Firm
    • About Our Firm
    • Virtual Estate Planning
    • About The American Academy
    • Advantages of Working With Our Firm
    • Attorney and Staff Profiles
    • Speaker Connection
    • Multi-Media
    • Reviews
    • College Internship Program (Marketing)
  • Estate Planning
    • Asset Protection & Business Planning
    • Estate and Gift Taxes: Figures
    • Family-Owned Businesses
    • Financial Planning Assistance
    • Incapacity Planning
    • IRA & Retirement Planning
    • Legacy Planning
    • LGBTQ+ Estate Planning
    • Pet Planning
    • SECURE Act
    • Special Needs Planning
  • Probate Process
    • CA Probate & Estate Planning Savings Calculator
    • California Probate Process
    • Common Probate Questions
    • Probate Resources
      • Bereavement Resources
      • How to Know if You Need Extra Help With Your Grieving
      • The Mourner’s Bill of Rights
      • Trust Administration & Probate Definitions
      • When a Loved One Passes Away With a Trust
      • When a Loved One Passes Away With a Will
    • Why Hire a Probate Attorney?
  • Trust Administration
    • Trust Administration Resources
    • Trust Administration Assistance
  • Resources
    • Feature Articles by The Hayes Law Firm
    • DocuBank
    • COVID-19 Estate Planning Resources
    • Educational Heroes
    • Elder Law Reports
    • Estate Planning Resources
      • Estate Planning Checkup
      • Estate Planning Definitions
      • Estate Planning Articles
      • Estate Planning Reports
      • Incapacity Planning Definitions
      • Is Your Estate Plan Outdated?
      • Top 10 Estate and Legacy Planning Techniques
    • Frequently Asked Questions
      • Estate Planning FAQ’s
      • FAQ’s for Families Without an Estate Plan
      • Legacy Wealth Planning FAQ’s
      • LGBTQ Estate Planning FAQ’s
      • Trust Administration & Probate FAQ’s
    • LGBTQ+ Resources
    • Newsletters
    • Special Needs Resources
  • Elder Law
    • Are You A Caregiver for a disabled loved one?
    • Coping With Alzheimer’s
    • Emergency Medi-Cal & Nursing Home Planning
    • Guardianship & Conservatorship
    • Hospice Care
    • Medi-Cal Planning
    • Veteran’s Benefits
  • Seminars and Webinars
  • Contact Us
    • Preparing for Your Initial Consultation
  • Blog

The Mourner’s Bill of Rights

mourner's bill of rights - Hayes Law Firm

By Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D.

  1. You have the right to experience your own unique grief. No one else will grieve in exactly the same way you do. So, when you turn to others for help, don’t allow them to tell you what you should or should not be feeling.
  2. You have the right to talk about your grief. Talking about your grief will help you heal. Seek out others who will allow you to talk as much as you want, as often as you want about your grief.
  3. You have the right to feel a multitude of emotions. Confusion, disorientation, fear, guilt, and relief are just a few of the emotions you might feel as part of your grief journey. Others may try to tell you that feeling angry, for example, is wrong. Don’t take these judgmental responses to heart. Instead, find listeners who will accept your feelings without condition.
  4. You have the right to be tolerant of your physical and emotional limits. Your feelings of loss and sadness will probably leave you feeling fatigued. Respect what your body and mind are telling you. Get daily rest. Eat balanced meals. And don’t allow others to push you into doing things you don’t feel ready to do.
  5. You have the right to experience grief ”attacks.” Sometimes, out of nowhere, a powerful surge of grief may overcome you. This can be frightening, but it is normal and natural. Find someone who understands and will let you talk it out.
  6. You have the right to make use of ritual. The funeral ritual does more than acknowledge the death of someone. It helps provide you with the support of caring people. More important, the funeral is a way for you to mourn. If others tell you that rituals such as these are silly or unnecessary, don’t listen.
  7. You have the right to embrace your spirituality. If faith is a part of your life, express it in ways that seem appropriate to you. Allow yourself to be around people who understand and support your religious beliefs. If you feel angry at God, find someone to talk with who won’t be critical of your feelings of hurt and abandonment.
  8. You have the right to search for meaning. You may find yourself asking, “Why did she or he die? Why this way? Why now?” Some of your questions may have answers, but some may not. And watch out for the clichéd responses some people may give you. Comments like, “It was God’s will” or “Think of what you have to be thankful for” are not helpful and you do not have to accept them.
  9. You have the right to treasure your memories. Memories are one of the best legacies that exist after the death of someone loved. You will always remember. Instead of ignoring your memories, find others with whom you can share them.
  10. You have the right to move toward your grief and heal. Reconciling your grief will not happen quickly. Remember, grief is a process, not an event. Be patient and tolerant with yourself and avoid people who are impatient and intolerant with you. Neither you nor those around you must forget that the death of someone loved changes your life forever.

For additional help, check out our list of Bereavement Resources

For more information about The Hayes Law Firm, visit our Google My Business page.

Sign up for our newsletter and get our news straight to your inbox!

Stay Informed

Where we are

The Hayes Law Firm
729 Mission St. #300
South Pasadena, CA 91030
Phone: (626) 403-2292
Fax: (626) 403-2299
Proud Memberaaepa

Office hours

Monday9:00 AM - 5:00 PM
Tuesday9:00 AM - 5:00 PM
Wednesday9:00 AM - 5:00 PM
Thursday9:00 AM - 5:00 PM
Friday9:00 AM - 5:00 PM

Map

map
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

The information on this website is for general information purposes only. Nothing on this or associated pages, documents, comments, answers, emails, or other communications should be taken as legal advice for any individual case or situation. The information on this website is not intended to create, and receipt or viewing of this information does not constitute, an attorney-client relationship.

© 2022 · American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys, Inc. | Disclaimer | Privacy Policy | Sitemap | Contact Us